Time

So once a year, right at the beginning of the year, I get itchy to preserve our family memories. Baby books, family scrapbooks, and a series of other means I use to document our family. Things are changing this year. I'm switching to publishing a book once a year rather than making prints and scrapbooking them (excluding baby books, of course). Other keepsakes, such as programs, mementos, etc. will still go into a much smaller scrapbook. I figure everything is electronic anyway. And with the cost of the prints and supplies, printing a book is probably more cost effective, too.

I just finished our new 2008 book. My head is swimming in family memories and images from the past year. It was a crazy year!! But my heart is full of gratitude.

One thing keeps jumping out of me. The passage of time. As I look at this book and the scrapbooks from past years, I feel a great sense of...well...there's not a word for it. Joy, sorrow, nostalgia, love, gratitude, hope, regret and satisfaction all rolled into one. And, yes, I believe it is possible to feel all of those things at once!

I want to keep all of the good times in the present. I want to keep all of the lessons I've learned from the hard times in the front of my mind. I want to enjoy every sweet moment with loved ones, my husband and each of my children through the years constantly. And, I want to have the wisdom that will come through future trials and growth with me now. A tall order! And impossible in this life. But I keep thinking that somehow such longings aren't completely out of order.

I've posted this quote before. But in light of my recent inner conversations with myself and with the beginning of a new year, it seems appropriate to mention this again.

Neal A. Maxwell said, ” Time is clearly not our natural dimension. Thus it is that we are never really at home in time. Alternately, we find ourselves wishing to hasten the passage of time or to hold back the dawn. We can do neither, of course, but whereas the fish is at home in the water, we are clearly not at home in time–because we belong to eternity. Time, as much as any one thing, whispers to us that we are strangers here.”

This brings me a great deal of comfort. I no longer mourn the passing of time. And I feel to embrace the uncertain future with joy. Both my past and my future are mine to keep.